Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
