lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
