guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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