Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
