I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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