The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just blew my weed a kiss
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
