Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
