you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
