You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
