So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
