Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
