Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
