I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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