this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
