i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
