I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
