If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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