i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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