i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
