When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
