This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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