I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
