I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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