yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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