He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
