and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
