Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
