I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
