I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
