toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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