I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
