i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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