Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
