help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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