let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just invented taco cereal.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My bed smells like the plague
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
