"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
