remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
