what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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