One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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