if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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