if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
