I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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