Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
