I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize