even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
