He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
