i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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