Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
