Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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