I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
