His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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