But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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