if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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