She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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