i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
