What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
