So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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