i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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