i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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