Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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