I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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