There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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