Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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