I heard we made out
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
