So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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