We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
