He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
