Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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