Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
