he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize