i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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