dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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