i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
